“And we’re on in 3, 2, 1…” Lights flickered to center stage.
“Hi everyone, and welcome to the Anime Dating Game. I’m Lukas S*&^@w in for Jessica D. Jessica wasn’t able to make it tonight due to soccer related injuries so deal with it. In today’s show we have three contestants trying for the heart of this lovely lady. Lets introduce our three contestants. Boy number one!”
Cloud looked up to acknowledge the crowd, “What?!”
“Boy number two!”
“Who are you calling ‘boy,’” said Roy, dusting off his uniform. “Boys don’t partake in games such as these. And this lovely lady will be required to wear, A TINY MINISKIRT!” Roy then ripped a miniskirt out of his jacket pocket and showed it to the audience.
After the applause died down Lukas announced the last contestant. “And lastly boy number 3.”
Jesse stood up, “Is it just me or does it smell like someone farted?” and sat back down.
“And our lovely lady today is Chi.”
Chi gracefully stood up from her chair behind the screen and greeted the audience with a wave of her hand. “Good luck to all three of you today.” Taking her seat Chi asked her first question, “My first question for all of you is, ‘If we were on a date, where would you take me?’”
“Boy number 1.”
“I don’t care. We’d probably take a ride on my motorcycle or on a chocobo, but either way we’d have a good time.”
“Interesting…”
“That’s nothing. I’d cook you a romantic candle lit dinner at my apartment. Some wine, some music by the fire place and I could show you why some women call me ‘the mustang’”
The crowd went wild.
“Intreaging… What about you Contestant number 3?”
“Well, I li”ke to eat, so I would have my girlfriend cook us something to eat before we went to kill some people.”
Everyone gave Jesse a weird look, and Roy broke the silence. “Your girlfriend?”
“I hate life,” Cloud wined pathetically.
“Ok,” Lukas intervened, “next question.”
“This question is also for all three of you. What do you consider to be your best feature?”
“I have a big sword,” said Cloud pointing off stage to the Buster Sword. [O.o Ignore the sexual innuendo]
“My best feature? I couldn’t possibly pick ONE.” Stated Roy arrogantly. “With my stunning hair, great body, charming personality, and such it’s hard to choose just one thing.”
“And Contestant number 3.”
“I like to kill people… and one day, I will become the ruler of this world.”
Everyone in the viewing audience took a step back and Cloud and Roy scooted their chairs away from Jesse’s with haste.
“A sense of humor, I like that in a boy.”
Jesse turned towards the screen, “I wasn’t joking.”
“Look at the time!” intervened Lukas, “last question.”
“Ok, my final question is, ‘Can you dance?’”
‘Beat It’ by Micheal Jackson started to play through the studio’s speakers.
Jesse jumped up, “Can I dance?!” and started to stupidly dance around the stage forgetting that he was on TV.
Roy and Cloud glanced at each other and started to do a perfectly in sync dance to the song, proving their dancing abilities. [don’t ask]
After about 25 seconds of that the music stopped and all the contestants sat down.
“So,” started Roy. “Where did you learn to dance like that?”
Cloud looked down at his feet, “I was, uhh, invited to Neverland Ranch… What about you?”
“How do you think I got the gloves? This isn’t alchemy, its moon walker magic.” And with that Roy struck a pose before sitting down.
“Well I’ve made my choice. And my choice is…” Chi paused for dramatic effect. Everyone held their breath. “Contestant number 3!”
Jesse leapt out of his chair, “YES!”
“Now wait a minute!” said a very pissed off Roy. “I think I deserve a REAL date. Do you know how many yaoi obsessed fangirls are trying to set me up with a certain short blond boy?!”
Jesse then whipped out his DeathNote and was about to write Roy’s name down when Roy kicked him [u know where]. “I’m sick and tired of you killing off everyone but the Fullmetal Shrimp!”
After watching Jesse crumple to the ground Chi ran over to Roy shouting a chorus of ‘thank you,’
“Anything for a lady.”
Another girl entered the stage, “Oh,” said Chi, “I almost forgot. I have a twin.” Roy then put his arms around both girls and made his exit. [Roy’s a womanizer and we all know it]
“What do I care, I have Kaylynn!” shouted Cloud excitedly as he gave a screaming Kaylynn a hug.
“Well that’s it for today’s show, and remember, if you have any suggestions send them to us at
sokkercraZ@gmail.com. Good night everybody.”
