What I Have Learned

What I Have Learned
A short story starring just about every character that Paula has, including herself. The reporter? The Queen Garia the third and half, the queen of hell!

QG31/2: So, what have you learned?

Roxy: Bucking people off is fun! O.o

QG31/2: Okay then... what else?

Roxy: Hay is teh tasties!

QG31/2: Okay... next! What have you learned?

Jeremiah: The creator has some crazy idea that stabbing people is fun. People meaning me.

QG31/2: That sounds entertaining.

Jeremiah: It's not. Trust the stabbed.

QG31/2: ...Okay then. Next! What have you learned?

Warren: People falling on you HURTS.

QG31/2: That is to be expected I suppose.

Warren: She wasn't even all that heavy either.

QG31/2: Next! Oh, hi Amigo. What did you learn.

Amigo: Austin no le gusta nada.

QG31/2: No comprendo mucho espanol.

Amigo: Es tu problemo, no es mi problemo.

QG31/2: Okay then... next! Oh, hi Paula.

Paula: Hi.

QG31/2: So, what have you learned?

Paula: Ummm... why am I talking to thin air?

QG31/2: ...You suck. Next! Ah, hello there Jaeza.

Jaeza: Hi.

QG31/2: So, what have you learned?

Jaeza: Corny or honest?

QG31/2: Both, if you will.

Jaeza: Well, I learned not to give up and that Jamie is the best (Censored) ever.

QG31/2: Just let me censor that. Okay, next! Hello there Siobhan.

Siobhan: ...

QG31/2: What have you learned?

Siobhan: The voices... how they follow me...

QG31/2: Creeptacular! Anyway, that is about it. Oh, wait, Amigo has some advice before we leave.

Amigo: De vez en cuando, es buenlo para andar descalzo en la alameda.

QG31/2: And what does that mean?

Amigo: No hablo English. Me atrevo ayudenia, y tu? Te atrevas?

QG31/2: Nobody has any clue what you're saying, anyway, bye until next time!

Email Updates!

Okay, I've been getting annoyed at the lack of review- I mean, I decided to be considerate and kind, and I've set it up so that you all *waves arm in your general directions* get emails whenever anyone posts on the Blog. I don't think you'll get comments, but... I think you do. Not sure.

Tell me if you want it off, and I'll remove you from the list. ^-^

*skips away merrily*

Wine Red

A/N: Echo X Skul. Of course. *lurves the colorz*

Who shot that arrow in your throat?

Apoollo died, Alison was already dead, for a while Echo thought there was nothing left. She considered suicide, but the idea of bringing her own blood... It made her stomach roll, empty as it was because she couldn't bear to eat much these days...

Who missed the crimson apple?

And for what? Apollo had died... For what? So some evil men could rule the world? So that the Faceless Ones could be brought back? Because Alison had been with HER, and ECHO was the real goal? No... That couldn't be the case, because her protection had been superficial, barely worth the effort it took to kill them. 

It hung heavy on the tree above your head.

She couldn't believe that SHE was the cause of his death... Without being able to kill herself because she got scared every time she tried (pathetic, she couldn't even take control of her OWN life?!), the guilt would crush her. Eternal Agony, since it was feasible she would live forever... Without Apollo, or Penelope, or even Alison.

This chaos, this calamity, this garden once was perfect...

The smiling, happy Echo was long gone, even before Apollo died, or even before he officially went to war, but now it was possible it would never come back. She learned to laugh again, with difficulty, but her jokes were laced with an irony that poisoned even her thoughts. She hadn't blushed in ages, nothing could embarrass her any more. She hadn't smiled from pure happiness (usually it was blood-lust or a mocking smirk) in so long she wasn't sure she knew how. 

Give your immortality to me; I'll set you up against the stars.

But then a well-meaning skeleton arrived in her army and she smiled before she met him and realized that, like her, Apollo wasn't coming back. He was Skulduggery Pleasant now, and she blushed from rage. He was supposed to come back and make everything better, not worse! He was supposed to save the day, not cast a pessimistic glare on it that pretty much killed moral and weighed high spirits down like kites ladened with rocks.

Gloria,
We lied, we can't go on!

Echo was enraged, she was furious... and she was betrayed! ApolSkulduggery was a different man now, and since she was a different woman instead of being attracted, like before... She was repelled. When he tried to talk to her it ultimately ended up being a fight more often then not. She could count the times she had laughed with him and not at him during those times on one hand, with three fingers chopped off. 

This is the time and 

This is the place to be alive!

Of course, eventually she grew tired of being angry, but when he did not become calm, she had no choice but to grow cold towards him. It was like an ice-berg pinning her side against hissing water: She was so chilled by the ice that the water bubbled and stung her instead of soothing. Cracks spread under the surface of her mind, and she knew that she had to get away, so she did.

Who shot that arrow in your throat?

She lived for a peaceful half-century, traveling, baking, singing, laughing, because she could pretend she was normal and he was not anything- a figment of her imagination, at best. She did not imagine how he was doing, because she did not know him well enough any more to even guess. She did not try to find where he was, because she knew that from the moment she left the Company of Magicians, the wards closed behind her. She had no way back in, and no human would even know what she spoke of if she asked, anyways.

Who missed the crimson apple?

Sometimes she caught herself looking out the window, or at the sky, suddenly grinning, whispering, "But, 'Pollo, it's Sky Fire!" before she caught herself and went back to whatever she was doing with a splitting head-ache because, somehow, she knew. She knew he was not happy, where he was, and after a good 150 years of it being her job to make him glad wherever he was (before he became Skulduggery), she did not like the feeling. He was not her charge any more, but he never stopped being worrying to her.

And there is discord in the garden tonight...

When he found her, she was happy, foolishly hoping her was glad to see her. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't, but whichever it was he did not even pause before starting to shout at her. The cracks, put under so much heat so fast, spread, breaking the fragile glass wall that kept her emotions out of her dealings with him. She snapped at him, blood coursing through her body like an ocean, finally telling him what had been on her mind for so long.  It felt great, there was no denying that, but when she was finished there was a good two minutes of silence.

The sea is wine red...
This is the death of beauty...

He stared at her. She stared back, suddenly getting the implications of what she had said. Basically she had just disowned him and any claims to anything that had to do with him. She told him to take it all, because it was HIS and not hers, because she didn't want it. She didn't want him, or anything to do with him, because he had been a jerk, so why not make him reap the rewards. "Skul-" she started, but he was already starting towards the door. She didn't try to stop him- What could she say, after all that? 

The doves have died...
The lovers have lied...!

Echo sank to the floor, and for a good hour she just sat there, until someone came in and she forced herself to move on. And so she did, with the ease of long practice. She served the next customer, and the next, and the next, and though she knew that within the area of five miles Skulduggery Pleasant was re-working his view of the past century, she had gotten the notion that maybe the world wasn't going to end that day. Certainly seemed like it, but then again, the world seemed to be ending every couple of years because of the war.

I cut the arrow from your neck,

...Ho snap, the war! After a few more years of grateful normalcy, she met a certain Demon Barber who was wanted by the Magician Society for baking more then a few of their members into pies... Or killing them before-hand. Through him, Echo got back her grip in the magical world. 

Stretched you beneath the tree,

Fighting for her former rank took the space of about, oh, a week and a half. She helped create the Cleavers from a bunch of former soldiers who had served under her, fiercely loyal, to the point of death- and the experiments with science-magic sometimes killed them before they perfected the ability to give them what she had. But they had one change: Once they became Cleavers, they could not turn back into living, breathing creatures, unless they died. 

Among the roots and baby's breath

You've heard of fame, right? The roars of the crowd, the flash of cameras, the blood-rushing through you because it's part exhilaration that you effect so many people so deeply and part nervousness that you'll screw up and everyone will go from cheering to laughing. Yeah, you've heard of it. Now, imagine instead of cheers, there's the clinking of glasses and light applause, and instead of the crowds, there's a bunch of blood-sucking politicians bearing down on you for a SINGLE mistake, one TINY slip up that will send you down to the bottom. Needless to say, Echo hated it. 

I covered us with silver leaves.

She was really, really freaked out then, when Tanith informed her that China informed her that Skulduggery Pleasant was at the party. What was he thinking, did he still hate her for the things she said? It hadn't been all that long, and after bearing a grudge for a good 150 years... Echo cringed every time the crowd parted enough that she could see him. More often then not, his head was tilted in her direction.

Gloria,
We lied, we can't go on!

Echo fumbled, she grasped at words, and finally she dropped the pretense of waiting and sat down at his table. They started talking with some gentle nudges from China, and by the end of that night Echo was forgetting the past few centuries of fearing/hating the skeleton man. He was funny again, in the way that she was funny- Ironic, sarcastic, but not biting or mocking or spiteful. He was not Apollo, but she was not the foolish teenager who had been smitten with his green eyes and infectious laugh. 

This is the time and 

This is the place to be alive!

By the end of the week they were inseparable, an unspoken attempt to erase the past years causing them to go on long walks, discussing battles and insulting politicians who were against their cause- were they blind, or just plain STUPID? She got to know him, and him, her. She understood him, and he understood her. They didn't rub each-other the wrong way, and when they did, it was intentional and they both knew it so neither got mad. It seemed... perfect.

The sea is wine red,
This is the death of beauty...

But good things couldn't last forever, and roses have thorns. Eventually the subject of Alison came up. She had been dead for quite some time, but Skulduggery had REALLY loved her... Echo came in second, even in death, and she couldn't bear the pain. She was gone, because the war was over and they won. She lived for a good twenty years in the limbo of normalcy, living day to day and month to month, not century to century. Wow, getting her mind off the big things like dying from a gun-shot wound or stabbed from behind did wonders for her mental health. 

The doves have died...
The lovers have lied...!

He found her again, basically hurt and betrayed because she disappeared without a trace on him yet again. She told him that the world didn't revolve around him, get his head out of his butt- and she did it with a smile, so he knew she didn't mean it in a demeaning way. But she still meant it, and now he knew not to take offense. Slowly and surely she was training him, and he was training her. 

The sea is wine red,
This is the death of beauty...

It repeated for centuries, with intervals of their friendship, sometimes having vicious spats, but they always made up because they couldn't stand to stay mad at each-other for long because they knew each-other too well, and being mad them was like being mad at themselves. But Skulduggery never knew the secret that Echo had nearly forgotten for centuries at a time, because she had convinced herself that Apollo was dead and that Skulduggery had his memories- but not his soul, his essence, his green eyes or glimmering smile. 

The doves have died...
The lovers have lied...!

Oh no, it was MUCH better! Skulduggery Pleasant was NOTHING like Apollo Raveneye, and Apollo Raveneye was like a bumbling boy to Skulduggery's confident man! Skulduggery was bold as brass and twice as resilient, whereas the only thing Apollo had for him was beauty and moderate brains. He was intelligent, not strong, but the best thing- Skulduggery was BOTH! Smart, strong, funny... 

The sea is wine red, 

(Gloria, we lied!)
This is the death of beauty,

(This is the time, and place!)

No, she was being unfair... Apollo wasn't THAT bad, but compared to Skulduggery... Echo had to shake herself out of it several times, to keep a cool out-look and, when he came to her for advice, to advise him well because he would not come to her unless he couldn't decide for himself. She was his last resort, and she knew that. It made it THAT much harder to stay cool, to stay neutral, the make sure she wasn't pushing him over a figurative cliff.

The doves have died... 

(Gloria, we lied!)
The lovers have lied... 

(This is the time, and place...!)

...Nope! No pressure at all!